Deep Dive | Short Story
"You haven't changed yet?"
"No. After you left, Shaun started crying." Nora sighed and looked away. "And then I started crying, and—"
"Aw, honey... C'mere."
I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around them both. Nora sniffled softly against me and breathed a shaky sigh. Shaun hiccuped and cooed, business as usual for him.
"Nathan, I know this whole place makes you uncomfortable. But...thank you. Thank you for taking us here."
She must've seen it in my eyes; I'd reached the tipping point where my obsession with puzzles exceeds its own usefulness.
I'd counted the number of paces we'd run from the front of the house to the Vault platform, SWAG'ged the elevation to the entrance. I'd counted the seconds it'd taken to lower us down as we watched downtown Boston explode in a bright flash to the south of us. I counted the number of paces we'd walked into the Vault so far. We were under Sanctuary, now. Right under it, in fact. Just under the ground water surrounding the development. That'll be our fresh water supply, of course...or reasonably fresh, anyway.
How far were we supposed to go down from here? At another 50 feet below this, we'll be at sea level. We're still close enough to the coast where leaks and corrosion might be a problem, not to mention what damage the bombs are doing to the topography. Concord could be beach-front property by the end of the day, for all we know. I tried not to think about this place filled with water. As if it didn't feel enough like a fishbowl, already.
Another 90 feet or so below that, oxygen is toxic. They have to introduce helium to the air mixture. That means we all walk around with permanently funny voices, or everyone starts to seizure. Soon. Within a couple hours, in fact.
Where were the living quarters, the food stores, the waste exchange system, the transportation to take us below? Everything seems way too small to sustain this many people for...well, indefinitely, I guess. Any farther down from there, and things start to heat up in the earth quite a bit without a seriously high-powered heat sink, not to mention, this many bodies in close quarters will generate quite a bit of heat, anyway. Did they take that into account?
After that I stopped speculating. My mom always told me I read too many cheesy sci-fi comic books, so what do I know, anyway? Besides, I'm terrible at math.
"What? Nah, I'm fine. Feel great, in fact." She pulled away and frowned up at me, skeptically. "I mean it! Wait'll you get your Vault-suit on..."
I waggled my eyebrows at her suggestively, and a dim but noticeable sparkle of amusement flashed in her eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means this little catsuit isn't just a sexy Halloween costume, apparently it's also a some kind of life-support system. There's, uh...these bio-metric sensor...thingies? And they...stick...on...places." I leaned down to her ear and said, "Don't be jealous, but I think we're dating now."
Nora's eyes widened and she slapped a hand over her mouth when she barked out a surprise laugh. One of the scientists looked over at us sharply, triggered by the not terribly appropriate response she had, given current events. I flashed him a knowing, toothy grin and a thumbs-up. The scientist gave me a strange look before scribbling something on his clipboard, and Nora let out an immodest snicker.
I picked her Vault-suit package up from by her feet and dangled the bag from my finger in a way that was supposed to be vaguely tempting. She eyeballed it cautiously and took it like I was handing her one of Shaun's dirty diapers. "You're, uh...not inspiring a lot of confidence, here."
"Oh no, trust me," I told her. "Vault-tec really knows how to make you feel S.P.E.C.I.A.L."
She pressed her lips together in a tight line trying to suppress her laughter, and failed pretty spectacularly. Good to know I could still earn Husband Points, even at the worst of times.
"Want me to take him?"
Nora's expression changed to a sad pout; she hugged Shaun a little closer.
"Nora, I'm not going to drop him."
"No, I know. It's not that. I just...don't wanna let go..."
I put my hand around her shoulder and gave her a light squeeze. "Hon, it's okay. Look, I was exaggerating about the suit—it's not that weird. But it is kind of involved. You're going to have to put him down, anyway. We'll be here when you get back, I promise. We're not gonna go anywhere." I waved my hands at everything in general. "We literally CAN'T."
With a resolved sigh and nod, she passed the baby to me, still wrapped up like a burrito. I shifted him to my other arm and caught her as she was walking away. "Hey, hey. Come back here. You forgot something."
Before she could respond, I preemptively leaned over and kissed her. Then I kissed her again. Then, in a moment of unapologetic self-indulgence, I pulled her close with my free arm and kissed her deeply. I didn't care who was watching us, didn't care about anything outside the circle of my arms. For a moment, I just let it all go except for my own little world of them.
"Thanks. I needed that," I whispered.
Nora touched my cheek with her cool hand and smiled softly. "Me too." I watched her walk away, hugging the Vault-suit package close to her.
I looked down at Shaun, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. I chuckled.
"Sorry about that, kiddo. One of these days, you'll be just as grossed out by that as every other child in history before you. Right now, you don't seem to mind too much."
I'd half-expected Shaun to start crying the moment Nora had walked away, but he seemed to be responding to my voice. Usually, it was my hair that caught his attention, but right now he was looking me in the eyes. So, I kept going.
"Soliloquies aren't my strong suit. I could tell you my speech I was gonna give tonight, but I think it's probably a little obsolete now. I wish I had some fatherly words of wisdom for you, but this is a little beyond my pay-grade. But. We...fucked up pretty bad today, didn't we? Don't tell your mom I used that word."
Shaun gave me a big, slobbery, toothless grin and my heart shattered.
"God, Shaun...I am so sorry. I am so sorry you have to pay for OUR fear and stupidity with YOUR future. We let you down, buddy. And I don't know what it's gonna take to get it back. Or if we even can, now. I wish I could tell you that it's all gonna be okay. But I don't know that it is. And I'd like to tell you that because you and your mom and me are all together, that's all that matters. But it's not. Not by a long shot.
"But it's what we got right now, so, I guess we'll do our best to make this our home. And maybe one of these days, you'll have a little brother and/or sister to help you out."
Connie and Patrick Sawyer down the street were expecting. I don't see either of them here. In fact, I don't see any other children at all, except Shaun...
"I have a feeling you're gonna need it. Good thing your mama likes me..."
My throat caught. I looked away and swallowed hard. I see why Nora didn't want to let go.
Shaun's arm wiggled free and he punched me right in the sternum as if to remind me to pay attention to him.
"Oof! You've done it now, little man. You can't fight me, pal." I took hold of his pink little hand and he curled his fingers around my index finger. Hard to believe we all start out this small and fragile.
"I don't know what's gonna happen, Shaun. But I know I'm your dad, and that's pretty darn awesome. And I want to be the kind of dad to you that I didn't have. I never want you to doubt that I love you. I promise I will always be willing to listen and hear you out. If you need me, I'll be there. I will always be willing to embrace you and hold you in my arms, no matter how old you are. I will always—always, always, always—love your mommy…even if it kinda grosses you out, sometimes."
I planted a series of rapid-fire kisses on his tiny hand. "Eww, gross, kissing, ewwwwwww!" Shaun giggled and gave a little flail. New parents are the only full-grown adults who get a free "Act Like a Dumbass in Public" card. I'd used mine so much it was collecting interest.
"I swear to protect you, Shaun. And I will never, ever, ever fight you. I promise."
I wiggled my finger still captured in his grip. "What? Want to do a gentleman's handshake on this?"
Shaun burbled. I took that as a yes.
"One, two, three—shake."
He yawned and attempted to stuff my finger in his mouth.
I laughed. "Oh. A spit handshake, then, huh? That's unbreakable, you know. You drive a hard bargain, little man..."
"What are you two talking about?" said Nora at my shoulder.
"Oh, just guy-stuff. Three Stooges, cuff links, shaving—" I said turning toward her.
"Snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails?" she said, standing hipshot, one hand resting on her waist.
"Something like that. You look...wow."
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice, if I'd been thinking. I hadn't.
Nora frowned. "Mine is a lot more revealing than yours."
I felt a dopey grin pull at the corners of my mouth. I didn't even try and hide it. "I'm not complaining."
"Maybe you're not! I feel naked."
"Uh-huh. See section 1, paragraph A..."
Nora snorted. "You're cute when you try to speak legalese. I hope you didn't put that down as one of your skills or languages."
"Well, I mean. I'm not fluent. I can read it better than I can speak it. By the way, would the Prosecution please do a little twirl? I'd like to cross-examine."
"I think you need your head cross-examined. Have them check your suit, while you're at it."
I cupped my hand over my mouth for a stage-whisper, pretending to speak into the collar of my suit. "Don't listen to her, Vault-suit. You're perfect the way you are."
"Mr. and Mrs. Rook. We need you to get into the decompression pods now, please." One of Vault-tec's scientists scurried behind me, and I rolled my eyes so only Nora could see.
"Guess they're not gonna let us share," I said.
"I don't think the three of us would fit."
"S'pose not."
I gently handed the baby over to Nora and placed him in her arms. He snuggled up to her chest and fell asleep instantly. I looked at the two of them and felt my heart squeeze.
Nora knows me well. She's right—I don't like this place. Everything about it feels like a trap, and I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable here. But we don't have any other options, now. And when I look back on what she's sacrificed for me while I was off playing war games—her career; her independence; a peace of mind that no military spouse ever gets, especially during war time—and I look at what I've given up for her, the balance is definitely tipped in my favor. I can stand a few sleepless nights if it helps her rest easier. I know there will be bigger sacrifices to come—for all of us—but it's a start.
"What is it, sweetie?"
Nora's voice pulled me from the thoughts. "Eh, just a little woolgathering." I shrugged. "Did I...did I ever thank you?"
"For?"
"Everything. Being you. Marrying me. Staying with me. Having our son, and taking care of him... And taking care of me." I brushed a stray hair off her temple and tucked it behind her ear. "You both mean everything to me. You know that, right?"
What else do I have now, if not them?
Nora nodded, blinking hard as her eyes glistened. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Then I kissed Shaun's.
"I'll see you on the other side," I said, wistfully. A little too much, actually. It sounded less ominous in my head before I'd said it. "Literally. I'll be right across the room over there. Watching you out that little window." I started to back away. I made an "O" with my hands, pretending to peer through it, and winked at her.
"Don't have too much fun with your Vault-suit," she sniped.
I grinned. "Oh, baby. I promise I'll be thinking of you the whole time." I turned my hands into a heart over my chest. Nora rolled her eyes and shook her head. She smiled though, and I thought I caught a little bit of a blush, too.
I climbed into my pod and the clam-shell door closed automatically with a hiss. I watched Nora settle down with Shaun across from me, the baby still sleeping in her arms. She gave me one last goodbye, pressing her hand to the portal window as her door also closed.
What's the phrase? When one door closes, another opens? I never really understood it, but then I never really had much to apply it to. I guess time will tell what—if any—other opportunities will open up.
A blast of cool air filled my pod, paralyzing my whole body with the chill. I felt myself begin to panic before a sudden calmness overcame me.
Then, for the second time that day, everything evaporated in a white flash...
...and took my world away.